Merrify this %*$(#&%

I'm sure you're wondering what that title is all about. If you're a designer, hang on because this is going to be a bumpy ride (okay, that is a gross exaggeration, but really don't I deserve to have a little drama every once in a while). I'm currently working on designing a line of holiday greeting cards, and in a meeting today I was told by the client (quite seriously, I might add) to "merrify that design by 30%". I am dead serious. I sat there in shocked silence, wondering just what in the hell does that mean? Should I add smiley faces, or jolly little elves or something? I mean, the card is supposed to have stockings on it. Holiday stockings. I'm not really sure how some socks hanging on a mantle can be more "merry". Exactly how does one go about quantifying merriment? Any ideas? I'm open to 'em.

Onto a more pleasant subject...breathe in...hold...now breathe out slowly making a slight shushing sound. Feel the agonizing stress of the day melt away as you pick up your mighty knitting needles. You know the ones. The ones that are keeping you from going completely insane on a daily basis. (Of course, they are also keeping you out of therapy because all of that money you spend hoarding yarn leaves you strapped for cash and keeps therapy from even being an option).

So, I've set myself up for a colossal knitting failure. You've probably all seen that amazing dress on the cover of the latest Rowan magazine. If you haven't, shame on you. Well, basically I've been blabbing all over town about how I'm going to make that damn dress. And I would love to, truly I would. I have tried. Seriously, no less than 25 times I have sat myself down with the dreaded 8 repeating lace rows which make up the bottom hem of the dress, and every single time I've had to rip it out. See, it has all of these complicated yarn forwards and increases et cetera, which I am told will eventually turn into one amazing piece of lace. I have yet to see it, as I can't seem to get past row 7.

For the past two weekends I have tried and tried (did I mention unsuccessfully) and have reduced myself to tears of frustration, and still I cannot make that damn lace. Well, I've still got two days to work on other projects (which I am knitting super slowly so as to avoid said dress) and then Saturday I'll be back in dress hell... A knitty friend of mine, with patience almost as short as my own, has volunteered to sit with me and read the stitches one at a time as I knit until I get to row 8...we'll see...I'm not quite ready to give up (read this as yes, indeed I am quite ready to give up), but let's just say that if those 8 rows don't happen this weekend my dress dreams (and the dreams of those knitting vicariously through me) shall come to a rather abrupt halt. Sigh.