IKEA, you stink!

Dear IKEA,

Thank you so much for being completely useless and undedicated to customer service. I'm not sure how you have actually survived this long in the good 'ol United States of America where the customers have the divinely given right to a working product which meets their needs, or at least BASIC QUALITY STANDARDS.

A month, and a seemingly endless upstream battle of phone calls and unreturned phone messages later I am left exactly where I was a month ago. I am still missing vital parts of the slip cover for my couch. And I still have two completely non-functional, and therefore worthless, drawers.

To the customer service rep who thought that she was being helpful by shipping the wrong parts, I say, thank you so much for your good intentions. Unfortunately, I cannot stitch them together and use them as a makeshift couch cover. They are completely useless...unlike, say the BOTTOM CUSHION COVERS I have requested over and over again.

Stop wasting my valuable time. For all of the time which has been spent in ridiculous conversation with you and your brainless dullards masquerading as customer service reps, I could have purchased a much more expensive and higher-quality couch that would have been delivered to my house with nary a hassle.

Send me those f&*%^$% cushion covers NOW or else I will just have to 1) return the couch, and 2) invoice you for the costs associated with hiring someone to pick up and return said couch.

Don't make me take you to People's Court. And, even more importantly, don't rest on your laurels and assume that I won't bother. Because this is one pissed off customer...who also happens to have a secret fondness for The People's Court and it's method of daytime justice dispensation.

Sincerely,
One Supremely Pissed Off Customer
AKA Ms. Crafty