Ms Crafty: where craftiness rules supreme...

Sunday, September 24, 2006

Don't mess with my cats

Elwood and Mabel soak up the rays in veritable harmony. Ignoring one another seems to be working for them. I mean, cause if you don't see it, it isn't there...right?

Keeping that in mind, I guess I'm going to have to start wearing blinders when I enter and exit the house. Why? Because my neighbors are a bit on the nutty side.

One neighbor has two cats who are completely vicious. Before Elwood even came into the picture, these cats were constantly trying to attack Mabel through the glass...making a huge racket. Once, one of them got into our house (long story) and Mabel was completely traumatized, although she did manage to draw blood when provoked--way to go, kitty!

Now that Elwood has entered the picture, he has taken to going outside. He loves it. He likes to just chill on our itsy bitsy "deck" or sleep in the dirt behind some flowering bush. But, in the past week the neighbors cats have been getting insanely aggressive with him--and it's pissing me off.

I mean, the neighbors cats are monsters. They even growl and hiss at me when I come outside. They end up chasing Elwood out of the yard--the cats and the neighbors as well. I think one of the crazies sprayed him with the hose.

Cut to this afternoon. I heard a ruckus in the backyard and went tearing downstairs. One of the terror cats had poor Elwood cornered and was hissing and spitting up a storm. I stepped out to call him and try to get between crazycat and himself (so he could come inside). Instead crazy neighbor #2 (not the owner of the terrorcats, but a really old lady who lives in the basement next door) stepped out...which startled both cats and sent them both flying over the fence.

Then she says "It's the mosquitoes." Huh? I'm sorry, what did you say? "The mosquitoes. They get under their skin and make them crazy. That's why I spray them with bug repellent."

Lady, that bug repellent is going to disappear from the yard faster than you can spit out another bouquet of crazy. And, if I catch either one of you loonies near my cats I'm going to turn the hose on you. Seriously. Don't mess with my kittybabies.


At 12:58 PM, Blogger KB said...

OMG. You CAN'T be serious! She sprays them with toxic chemicals, and then when they clean themselves off, they ingest it, and she thinks she's doing them a favor? What planet is she from? Also, I can't believe that Elwood just doesn't sit on one of those bullies. He certainly is big enough! I miss all you guys!

At 4:04 PM, Blogger ms. crafty said...

Let's just say that spray is going to magically disappear, never to return. I haven't seen her (the 85+ year old lady) spray them with's just what she said. I think she's a bit off her rocker...

Maybe she should spend less time watching Lifetime and ingesting toxic chemicals herself...

I wish Elwood would give both of those terrorcats sound ass whooping. He could totally take the both of them at the same time. But he's such a gentle giant...I love him for it...

We all miss you, too! Cherrio!

At 5:13 PM, Anonymous Griffin said...

Just to clarify.

I'm 99.9% sure that Sally has never sprayed anything on Elwood. She's old and infirm. I don't see her making the effort. And if she did, I can't see her being successful. She can't even walk up stairs, much less chase cats with bug spray. One time I let him out and her back door was open. She was very sweet and friendly to him, but he ran away from her....

While those neighbor cats may hiss and meow at Elwood 1) 9 times out of 10 they don't bother him 2) when they do he is completely unphased and 3) they haven't touched a paw to him.

Lastly, I'm 100% certain that Elwood is very happy here with us. He cuddles up and sleeps with us every night. He seems oblivious to Mabel. When we let him outside he's rarely gone for long. And, he never howls anymore. Although, occasionly he still likes to take a pee somewhere other than his litter box.

At 2:13 AM, Blogger KB said...


I shouldn't have read this at work, because it actually made me cry. I love how he sleeps with you guys at night. I always wanted him to do that with me, but somehow, he never wanted to stay for long.

I'm glad he's stopped howling, and I'm going to smack him on the bum, when I see him, for peeing. Ugh. That's just horrible. (I'm embarrassed).

I hope you both can hop over to this side of the pond soon! We've no guests for the beginning of December. I know work must be crazy....but I'm keeping one eye on air-fare, just in case a good deal comes along.

Please give Elwood a hug, and a big kiss on his head for me.

At 9:09 PM, Blogger nootsmaak said...

I had to laugh reading this, as I've recently experienced the fight-through-the-window dinner theater.

There's an outside cat - possibly feral, we're not sure - who has claimed our yard as his own. If we leave the front door open for air, he'll come up to the porch and if Neo is sitting on the other side of the screen door, Norman, as we've named the outside fellow, will rear up on his hind feet and slam his front paws against the screen door. It's amazing how hard a cat can storm a door.

So we started closing the front door anytime Norman was nearby. Then, the other night, the front window was open and I knew Norman was out there, but that window is above the front stairs - no way could Norman get close enough to cause any trouble, right?

Wrong. I think he launched himself onto the screen, and the next thing I knew, there was eardrum-bursting screaming and hissing - ridiculous. Neo was traumatized for the rest of the night, and I was reminded of your cat fights through the window.

Is there kitty valium we can put in the kibble??? One for mommy, one for kitty...


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